After, Ever Happily


I won't linger too long on Dwight, that little arse angel of the apocalypse is only a cum stain on the pants of the Armageddon. But he's the start. The beginning of the end, the unmaking of the reality, the unwinding of the universe, the great undoing. Dwight fucked it all but to be fair on him, I think we had it coming. The ejaculate of the apocalypse has happened and then everything is shaking and that is where we were, and this is where you are.

The world shakes like a snow globe, like a handful of dice at a craps table. For 114 seconds it shakes. A seizure for the entire world. Earth, sea, air. Man, woman, child. Every species of every creature ever dreamt up fits for 114 seconds. It is the end of the world and then its not, everything stops. Over and out. Eyes open and look around, people pat themselves down to check they are all still there, families hold each other like teddy bears at bed time, weeping in chorus. Every fucker on the planet the same for one blink. And in that blink humanity sees each other as if for the first time; For a moment in the slow motion of the car crash they can see the other passengers absolutely and honestly and then as quick a flash it is gone. Smash, crash, flipping and tumbling over the central reservation, lying there smoking and crushed waiting to be cut out by some poor fire folk who've seen this one too many times…Shock and panic… riots and madness. Terror reigns. Politicians yap, Armies deploy, religious leaders cry mercy and scientists frown at statistics as they try to explain it all away. Huddled together like ducklings people pray to their TV’s for someone to make sense of it all. But nothing really comes. What could  anyone say anyway? Nothing will ever come close to the answer of what really happened, no one will ever know about Dwight's ungodly horn and glory hole to end all things.

Around the world all kinds of weirdness starts to raise its ugly head:

Whole fields of livestock lay down close their eyes and die. Milk cows just stop living hooked up to their juicers. in abattoirs pigs save their murderers a job standing in line waiting for the bolt. Tens of 1000’s throw themselves from buildings, more than that hang themselves from door knobs, light fittings and stairwells, more than that lie in bathtubs with cut wrists, pissing blood into pink water, more than that swallow medicine cabinets and lie in their beds sobbing themselves into the afterlife. Such is life. Stories of insanity being washed out of the minds of crazy people. Serial killers handing themselves into the police. Cannibalism in quiet country towns; Dry lakes; people falling asleep and not waking up. Light falling from the sky, Things falling out of the earth. Wolf boys and Wolf girls. alligator people. Cults, Mass Murder, mass suicide, Disappearing's, reappearing’s. The list goes on and on, all this whilst we are dealing with the usual, everyday, run of the mill terror and hysteria.

Now i know that all of that kind of skirts over the details of some of the strange that takes place at this time right now in the immediate aftermath of the glory hole, and I am sure it can be revisited at some point, but none of that is really that important, not really. What is important is what happens next. What humans do to try and cope with chaos and uncertainty. How people survive knowing, truly knowing that all things can and might end any second….now or now….or….maybe now. Well human beings do what humans beings do best: pretend it's not happening. Of course there is a lot of panic for a few months but like always, like the orchestra of the Dachau death camps, playing Handel at SS banquets, they just get on with it, act normal, hope what ever it is goes away. They pursue normality against all the odds. against all the warning’s signs saying “cliff ahead”, against all the evidence that they are fucked and doomed, human beings paper over the cracks of their denial bubbles, close the fucking doors and get back to what they do best: existing for the sake of it. What else are they supposed to do? given all the choices, normality is the most obvious one, and before they know it this is the new normal. Like the time before the internet that no-one can remember, before the hand was a mobile phone holder. The new normal happens and people are in it before they have time to think, You are living the new normal right now and you don't even know it. There are people in Syria right now who work in banks, who drive their kids to school, watch Saturday night tv. There is a grocery shop on the corner that sells apples that an ISIS soldier thought about buying on his way to hold his flag and a machine gun on the back of a truck this morning. That is normal, it is the only normal that matters. The normal of now.

The weirding world slows down, these things start to fade into the background, people go back to work. People pick up their feet, look at what they have and still want more. That fleeting moment when they just saw each other as humanity spinning on a grain of sand in the infinite is over and people want the technology again, people want money again. People want internet and pornography and drugs, people want what they can't have and everything is as if unchanged. but its not, its all different. This is a brave new world and one by one by two or three weird and wonderful happenings will start to drip through from without. Drip, drip, drip and the ripples of those drops will spread outwards rotating around the globe. Eroding it

What follows are the stories from the beginning of the end of the world, the pin pricks of strange that push themselves through. This is the slow burn of the apocalypse, a skin rash that will eventually strip the flesh from the bone and leave a dull skeleton of existence. But for now its just an itch to scratch, and who could blame you for having just one or two.